Contribution from a student: Story of my teenage life on prayers

Note from Dr Ridhwan: This contribution was emailed to me. I believe that authentic stories can motivate people to become better. I only changed one word (it was not rude but it bit too slang) Here is her story


I went to three stages of prayer in my life. First stage is the naïve, obedient, no hardship when it comes to praying. Second stage is the ultimate rebel, full time lying, and total refusal to pray. Third stage is having sense of responsibility, world is better with Islam and committed to loving Allah and Rasulullah s.a.w.

Up until I was 12 years old, I prayed side by side with my mother so she knew that I prayed and she taught me everything that is to Islam. I was a simple kid who almost has everything. Praying does not mean that much to me I just know that I need to pray and I am not bothered by the details. Probably, my interest was not on Islam but more to cartoons, animals and the universe. I was occupied with learning what I adore than showing interest on Islam.

When I was going to be 13, my parents let me stay with my cousins for 2 months. They were those cool city girls who live in KL and I am just a kampong girl but still was exposed to city life through television. I was the cool girl among my kampong friends. Next to them I was as lame as a rock. So the story was they influence me to not praying as praying is not cool. English music was cool, coupling was fantasized and everything close to illegal in Islam. I still have my conscious. What I believe on, I stand on my ground. Like how they did not wear tudung and whatnots. Till the very end I was strict on not exposing my aurah and they respect that. But I know they think I was so lame.

Those were the start of my rebellious phase. I stop reciting Qur'an as I recently khatam it. I do not pray, I talked with KL slang, well basically everything changed. I feel I was cooler and praying is a waste of time. I started to procrastinate big time. I did not study at all. I was the second last in my class for my finals. All I did was have fun all the time. No worries about the world or my studies or anything. I stop caring and rationalising. I had 2 years of that oh-so-called-“fun” period.

My third phase happened when my mother decided to change me to her school. She was a teacher there. I was okay with it and up for new experience. This was in fact the changing point of my life. I love the new school so much. The teacher was better, the environment was twice greener but the student was ten times worse. But they did not bother me because I dress badly and I have a scary teacher as a mom. I learned their background and become humbler. The teachers there were amazingly supportive and the school provide tons and tons of motivational talks to us. I started to fully pray when a teacher threaten to rattan student according to the number we skipped prayers for yesterday. I remember the feeling of utterly terrified and panicked because I do not like pain. I rarely get beaten from my parent so I am not immune to pain. The teacher never got the chance to come to our class but from that moment on I swear I will pray 5 times a day because of the fear. Then things started to get serious from that moment on. I have a purpose in life, I know what I want to do with my life, I studied whenever I get the chance to study, I utilised time happily and so many other changes in life. My ultimate purpose is I want barakah from Allah.

Life was much happier after that. I got straight A’s for PMR, 9A’s for SPM. Life is good. Although I did become a victim of black magic that was targeted to my father but I got a piece of it, it makes me closer to Allah because I was relying on His protection. It was terrifying but with a silver lining behind it.